Tone of outrage

I swear to God, if I don't think of something trivial and imbue it with significance here and now I'm going to drop this class, drop out of school and move to India to find myself spiritually. I truly cannot take this writer's block whining anymore. The fact that I have absolutely nothing going on in this dull husk of a brain is completely unacceptable. I demand an interesting and original thought to appear before me right now, or I will turn this submarine around this instant, and then no more Tom Clancy novels for my conservative uncles to read ever again. That's right, no more banal descriptions of austere machinery mixed with blatantly xenophobic stereotypes all amidst an espionage plot devoid of any and all suspense. No, I will not stand for it any longer. If you are billed as a hyper-masculine action writer then I expect to be entertained while I'm being condescended to. But you leave me feeling nothing, and for $9.99 your failure in this sense is unconscionable. How dare you golf on the weekends. I will see you in court. Good day sir.

2.6 Dead Cliches

Cliched metaphors: Talking until you're blue in the face, armed to the teeth, you don't have a leg to stand on, a light at the end of the tunnel, land of milk and honey, once in a blue moon, a rolling stone gathers no moss.

Switched metaphors: a rolling moon gathers no honey, once in a blue tunnel, land of moss and stone, a face at the end of the leg, you don't have a light to stand on, armed to the moon, rolling until your light in the teeth.

This is the beginning of a mandatory blog for my creative writing class. There are four months to graduation, then transfer time. I am wary of technology, am a near-Luddite.